If I wasn’t on a budget, I would probably live in a constant state of revamping my home. I can always find some way to tweak a room. Decorating is both my profession and creative outlet. Some might say it’s an obsession, but let’s not go there…
However, there are certain times in life when I feel it can actually be dangerous to decorate.
Dangerous in a physical sense? Not really. Unless you happen to be moving heavy furniture at 2:00am because your husband went to bed and just HAVE to get the sofa on the other side of the living room before you go to sleep.
Decorating at the wrong time can be dangerous to our wallets, our well-being, and the way we feel about our home.
(Real quick I just want to interject and welcome any of you visiting from the Design Mom home tour this morning. So glad you stopped by, and please make yourself at home! You can learn a little about me here and check out some favorite posts here.)
WHEN DECORATING IS THE LAST THING ON EARTH YOU NEED TO DO
Sometimes decorating our home feels like a weight. In order to relieve the pressure and feel better, we make rash decisions, impulse buys, or get stuck in the middle of a project with no way out.
Sometimes we are not meant to change a thing in our home.
We are meant to sit and wait.
We wait to find clarity.
To be inspired.
To reconnect with our purpose and how that plays out in our home.
To gain perspective.
To turn the dissatisfaction we feel into gratefulness for what we have.
To decorate your home is to engage the creative process on the most personal level possible.
Friends, it is draining. In every sense of the word…physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. Obviously I believe it’s worth the effort, but only during the right season in life. Learning when not to decorate can save you from some exhausting and costly mistakes.
At times home repair or upgrades like a retractable screen door for garage take priority over decor.
1. WHEN YOU’RE CONFUSED
If you’re unclear on your style, shopping can be frustrating and intimidating. You may know what you like when you see it, but you can’t figure out how to pull things together in your own home.
What to focus on instead: Learning
Instead of going straight into decision making mode, use this time to learn some basic design principles. (And no, I don’t mean looking stuff up on Pinterest.)
My favorite resource for decorating is and always will be Domino. Learn about different furniture styles and window treatments. Study different color combinations and how they make you feel. Through the process, you will get some clarity on your own style.
2. WHEN YOU’RE EXPERIENCING SOMETHING NEW
Newlywed? Trying to decorate your home the first few months of being married is not be the best way to enjoy marital bliss. Trust me.
New mom? Get some sleep, sister. If you didn’t get the nursery done during second trimester, don’t beat yourself up. If you’ve got a crib, changing table and rocker, then you’re fine. The rest can wait till that sweet baby is sleeping through the night.
Just moved? You might be tempted to jump right in and start decorating immediately. I actually think this can be a HUGE mistake.
Unless you have a very clear vision for the new space and free time to handle everything involved in the process, then it’s best to hold off for just a bit.
Waiting to first adjust to your new surroundings and focusing on the tip below will help ensure a better starting point.
What to focus on instead: Simplifying
Rather than decorating, focus on editing out things that just don’t make sense for this new phase in life. Really take stock of what you have. Go room by room and give every item the once over. Do you love it? Does it hold sentimental value or serve a specific purpose? If not, maybe it should find a new home.
Remember this…a home with less “stuff” is the perfect foundation to build something beautiful. It’s ready when the right pieces come into the picture.
3. DURING A SEASON OF LIFE THAT FEELS OVERWHELMING
If you’re going through an emotionally tough time for any reason, this is not the time to decorate. Even if you find decorating to be a completely stress-free and cathartic process, be careful of “comfort shopping”.
When you are pouring so much of yourself into a another person, the healing process, or simply surviving the day, your energy should be spent on coping and adapting.
What to focus on instead: Organizing
That might seem counterintuitive, but go with me here…When life feels unpredictable and perhaps out of your control, creating systems to declutter and streamline at home can actually bring a sense of order in small but mighty ways. I’ve seen this time and again with clients and know it to be true. You’d be shocked at how powerful systems of organization can be for eliminating stress in our lives.
4. WHEN YOU’RE FEELING LIKE YOUR HOME WILL NEVER MEASURE UP
The last couple years I’ve learned a lot about the creative process and its affect on our psyche. When you start from a place of insecurity and doubt, nothing good comes from it!
“Decorating insecurity” can make you:
1. Spend too much money on new items trying to compensate for the way you feel about your home.
2. Lose sight of your own style and mimic something that’s really not “you”.
3. Compare yourself and your home to others and resent what you do have.
What to focus on instead: Gratitude
Most likely if you are reading this post, that means you have internet. Which means you live in a home. And my guess would be that you have not skipped a meal lately. (Unless you’re doing a juice cleanse or something crazy like that.) In today’s world, it’s easy to lose sight of the big picture and take for granted things we enjoy everyday that many in our world sadly do not have.
I’m 100% guilty of this.
The best way to shake off feelings resentment about your home is to change your perspective. Interrupt the vicious mental cycle of comparison by remembering how blessed you are to have a home, even if it’s not ideal.
ENJOY THE DOWNTIME FROM DECORATING
If you find yourself in one of the stages above, I hope this little post has helped you breath a sigh of relief about your home.
It’s ok, dear friend. I give you permission to sit it out a round or two.
Don’t try to plan or get on Pinterest. Just sink into your sofa with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. Read a book or watch that documentary on Netflix you’ve had in your queue for ages.
When that’s done, just let your home take care of you.
Your house doesn’t need to be your canvas right now…Simply let it be your haven.
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Merry and Bright Art for The Mantel
What I Wish I Had I Known Before Buying An Old Home
Hi, Heather! Yes, I saw the wonderful home tour that Gabrielle did on your gorgeous house and now I’m here. 🙂
I totally adore how lovely your home is! And you have a toddler? Wow.
Thank you also for this insightful post, Heather. (I am so glad I found you and your blog!)
Thanks so much for stopping by, Jo! Don’t be too impressed…Those pics were taken on a day we actually cleaned. Also, I’m planning a post on our “toy room” soon. It won’t really be inspiring, but I feel like I need to show you guys a bit of our real life messiness-and all the plastic toys that come with that! Glad to have you here and hope to chat again soon.
I always love your perspective, Heather. This is all so, so true!
Thanks, friend! XO
Such a wonderful perspective….and great advice! I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for this post.
So glad you like it, Erika!
Very wise advice from someone so young! You are way ahead of the game. I wish I had learned these lessons earlier in life. I could have saved myself {and my pocketbook) a lot of disappointment. I’ve literally spent YEARS trying to undo the things that I did in haste.
Thank you, Suzy! I guess I’ve been able to learn from a couple early mistakes and gleaned a lot from my sweet clients when they come to me at their wit’s end. Even if someone had told me NOT to decorate when I first got married, I probably wouldn’t have listened. (Too stubborn…) I had to make that mistake and learn the hard way too!
Hi, Heather! I came over from Gabrielle’s Living With Kids post. I have to say I love your home’s style and I love your writing style. You have such a gift of expression. I really enjoyed this post. I have been guilty of decorating at the wrong time so often and have definitely seen the adverse effects! Thank you for your tips! I will definitely be coming back for more!
Kristi
http://www.beloverly.com
That makes my day to hear, Kristi! Sometimes the big lessons leave us with painful reminders. Those seem to be the ones we don’t repeat though;/ So glad you stopped by today and looking forward to chatting more soon. Headed over to “your place” now.
Hopped over from Design Mom. This post was refreshing.
Thanks so much, Susan. Glad you popped by!
Heather, I really loved your wisdom in this post! We all need the reminder that there are times that we don’t need to decorate:)
I have to “re-remind” myself all the time. Thanks, Tara!
Such great advice!
Thanks, Nici!
Really agree! I’m in a season of simplifying and sophisticating our home decor. Love your blog!
Isn’t it an unexpectedly enjoyable season, Natasha? The further along we get into this journey of simplifying, the better I feel! Thanks so much for stopping by today.
Wow! My husband retired the end of December 2014, my dear Mama passed away in November and we have signed a contract on a house in New Orleans, my hometown. We will be moving from Richmond, Virginia. Your advice is exactly what I needed (as I sit here with 2 fan decks and a page full of paint colors from Pinterest!) I do feel I am in transition to another season of life. I feel ready to let go of things and stuff that no longer serve me/us and I’m ready for unfilled closets and simplifying life in general. Your advice spoke to me deeply. I intend to print this post and put it in my journal to refer to again and again as I feel the need “to do” rather than let go and wait for the right time. I know I will be happier in the long run not moving things that are not part of our new life. Thank you! ~Yvonne
Oh my goodness, Yvonne! I’m so glad this post found its way to you. What a season of life you are in! Yes, yes, yes, you need to adjust and cope and be good to yourself right now. Focus on the simplifying, and I’m sure you’ll be in a better place to start decorating once you get to New Orleans. Thank you so much for letting me know how this helped. Hugs to you!
I just came across your blog through the spring home tours. Love your thoughts on when not to decorate! We just purchased our first house back in August, and I have definitely felt the pressure to decorate. I really enjoy decorating, but at the same time it is important to be reminded of how blessed we are to be able to afford a house, much less be able to decorate it with pretty things. So thanks!
Congrats on the new house, Rebecca. You take as long as you need to get in the decorating mode; shake off that pressure, girl! My best advice is to get your hands on some design/decor books (lay off Pinterest for a little bit). Like I mentioned in the post, learning during the down time is a great way to be productive until you’re truly ready to make decisions.
Love this so much! A great perspective and a wonderful reminder that pinterest is not the real world 🙂
Amen to that! Thanks for stopping by today, Jileen
Wow! Number 3 really hit me. I love to scour blogs and Pinterest and magazines for decorating ideas, but my life is so crazy right now. You are correct in saying to wait, and let things settle down. Thank you so much for this post! I love all of your ideas and you have a beautiful home.
Oh, good! I’m glad this hit home with you, Tracy. Here’s to enjoying your decorating downtime! Thanks for the sweet words.
Such a great post Heather! Love your advice.
Thanks, Anne! Hope you are doing well with the things we chatted about for your home:)
So appreciate this post! Not very many design blogs talk about when it’s time ‘not’ to decorate or to take time to be grateful for what we have. Thanks for a healthy perspective!!
Thanks, sweet friend:)
Hi Heather, I’m so happy to have found your blog through Design Mom earlier this week. I like your style and completely resonated with your perspective (I am a mama to two year old twin girls). I actually came to your blog today to check out your coaching services for a couple rooms in our house. But, after just reading this post, I think I need to sit back and settle, do some organizing, and let my home take care of me for a bit. Thank you so much for putting this perspective out there. I feel like it was written just for me.
Wow, twins? You are superwoman, Alison. Good for you on realizing you need to wait! I promise when you are ready to decorate, you’ll feel it. It won’t be a compulsion; it will feel like a challenge you’re excited to tackle. So glad you enjoyed the post and thanks for taking time to let me know. (I’ll still be around if you need me down the road. Winkwink:)
Thanks for the lovely post! I really enjoyed reading it! I’m on a decorating break now and your post will keep me Re evaluating my home for a bit more. And maybe organize like you said
So glad you enjoyed it, Vinaya!!
fantastic post! I might share it with clients in the future…even if you hire a decorator it might not be the right time to decorate and then both parties are frustrated. i’ll be thinking about these words for a long time to come!
True story, sister! Thanks so much for the feedback, Emily. Hope all is well with you.
Bravo! I’m bookmarking this page for the next time I’m feeling unnecessarily dissatisfied with my home.
From one Heather to another, thanks! Glad this hit home with you.
first time visitor, but not my last time!! Wow, your post really hit home for me. I’m in one of those seasons in life, you just didn’t see coming. I love decorating and making my home, but I just could not find enjoyment in it for long. So I stopped shopping for little pick me ups, and my girlfriend came up with the saying, “cleaning is the new decorating”. So i have been cleaning, organizing, and just enjoying the fact that I even have a home! Very good post, I will be bookmarking this!! Came over from Hooked on Houses
Welcome, Noelle! Hah-I love that. “Cleaning is the new decorating”. I feel like for me I could say “Simplifying and decluttering is the new decorating”. Boy it sure would be cheaper if I could stick with that motto. Glad you popped over today and hope you’ll head back again:)